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Relationship Planning: 7 Tips for Christian Singles


Christian singles know that if a relationship is going to be successful, it must engage in planning.   There are many benefits to planning.   Planning creates a roadmap to follow.   Planning provides focus, clarity, commitment and many other benefits.  That said, for Christian singles, there are 7 tips to follow to help you create a successful relationship plan.

Tip #1 – Understand Your Life Purpose

Everyone has a purpose in life – one that is unique and special.

Each of us is UNIQUE and therefore, each one of us has a UNIQUE life purpose.   It is the reason why each of us is here on this planet.   Once your understand your life purpose, it will allow you to be who are and express yourself authentically in life and in your relationship.

Tip #2 – Understand Your Life Vision

While your purpose is the reason why you are here, your vision is the daily expression of living your life in congruence with your purpose.    When you take the time to understand your vision or how you want to live your life, it will help you create the right roadmap that will guide you to your own unique future.

Tip #3 – Define Your Relationship Requirements

When you are creating your relationship plan, one of the important elements is to define your relationship requirements.   Requirements are the basic foundation of your vision for your relationship.   They are the non-negotiable traits of your ideal relationship – they must be met for the relationship to work – no ifs, ands, or buts.  

Examples of relationship requirements are trust, integrity, family oriented, passionate, and a shared sense of humor.

Tip #4 – Identify Your Needs

We all have needs.   We need to light to see and air to breathe.   We need to eat and sleep.   In a relationship, your needs are the events that must happen for you to be happy.   If a need is unmet, we experience an “issue.”   While requirements are non-negotiable, needs can be negotiated.

Tip #5 – Know Your Wants

In a relationship, wants provide pleasure and enjoyment, are transient, changeable and easily substituted.   Most of us enjoy going out every once in a while for a great meal together or experiencing an amazing concert.

Without fun, a relationship would be boring no matter what we are doing.    But wants are not requirements, and singles who base a relationship on them often experience a failed relationship.

Tip #6 – Develop Your Relationship Skills

Your current relationships reflect what your future relationship will be.   With that in mind, don’t you think it’s time to learn effective relationship skills?     Good news!   Relationship skills can be taught and learned.   To be successful, each skill must be developed in order to prepare for your ideal relationship.  

Some of those relationship skills are: Initiating contact, power introduction, being the “Chooser”, keeping sexual boundaries, communicating expectations, being authentic, being emotionally available, and listening deeply.

Tip #7 - Craft a Dating Plan

Your dating plan is a roadmap that identifies some of the key milestones of your love relationship, beginning with dating and moving towards a committed relationship.   It defines who you are, what you want in life and a relationship, and finally, how you are going to get there.    Once you create a clear relationship plan, you can find the love of your life!

Posted by Scott Simpson on 6th March, 2012 | Comments | Trackbacks
Tags: relationship dating advice, Relationship Coach

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I’ve helped Christian singles find romantic fulfillment for two decades As an ordained Presbyterian minister, I’ve given relationship and dating advice to hundreds of members of my congregation and my community. It’s been amazing to watch them grow as individuals and as members of healthy relationships.

Scott Simpson
Master of Divinity, Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, Austin, Texas

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